See my beard? Ain't It weird?

Don't be skeered*... it's just a beard.

Just in the course of texted conversation, I once again noticed the amazing versatility of the English language spelling rules (some might use a more pejorative word than "versatility").

Beard.
Eared.
Weird.
Sneered.
Adhered.
Cashiered.

All rhyme.
All with different spelling.

How cool is that?

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* "Skeered" is a joking way of pronouncing "scared" so that it rhymes with beard...  but it's also a pronunciation that shows up in certain Englilsh dialects.  From http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/scare:

Word Origin and History for scare 

v. 1590s, alteration of Middle English skerren (c.1200), from Old Norse skirra "to frighten; to shrink from, shun; to prevent, avert," related to skjarr "timid, shy, afraid of," of unknown origin. In Scottish also skair, skar, and in dialectal English skeer, skear, which seems to preserve the older pronunciation. 

Conforming versus Conformant: Which Conforms?

OK, what is it with "conformant" for products that conform to a standard? What's wrong with "conforming"? If something conforms, it is conforming (if something deforms, it is deforming (the deforming pressures...not deformant pressures).

I've had to use that foul nonword in various documents and web pages because the organization for whom I'm producing these things has ignored my argument that, since conformant wasn't in any actual dictionary, it didn't count as an actual word. At about that time, interestingly, it showed up in Wiktionary). Apparently the argument is that, because it appears in a zillion pages on the web, it is now a real word. Dagnabbit, it's just a lazy back-formation from "conformance". Nerds.